There are only a couple of things left on my NYC bucket list, and last week I ticked a couple of things off - the Guggenheim, eat a NYC pretzel, and buy an I love NY t-shirt.
Today is the start of my last week in NYC and although I'm sad to be leaving, I'm just as excited to be flying away to explore a new place. It does feel strange to be getting onto a plane that isn't bound for Australia, and I'd be lying if I said I haven't thought about getting onto a flight home. Even though, technically, I'll be closer to home in London that I am here in NYC - in distance and time - I feel like I'm going to be further away. I feel like every day I spend exploring a new place is another day that I slip a little bit further away from my friends. I worry that it'll be harder for keep in touch, harder to connect, harder to find something to talk about. I worry that things will have changed so much - both in myself and in the people I left behind - that things won't be the same, and that makes me sad. Although this adventure is a great new beginning (and I'm not saying that things were bad at home, just that I needed to make changes in my life, attitude, and behaviours) it's really hard to let go of the past. I thought that being halfway around the world would make letting go easier, but it hasn't.
I don't want to sound ungrateful for the opportunity I have to travel like this and go on an incredible adventure. I know that I'm doing something that many people will never be able to do and I'm so lucky that I can and am. I can't stop myself for feeling like this and I wanted to write in down, after all, this is a journal.
I didn't start this post with the intention of writing what I have, but I want to write as honestly as I can here - the good, bad, and ugly - and today I started writing and just kept writing and this is where I ended.