Travelling isn't always spending endless days in the sun, eating street food, and wandering around a new place. It can be scary, frustrating, and you will, at some point, feel lonely. That's how I've been feeling for the past few days. I was having trouble with my laptop, it was hot and humid, and the people in the building opposite mine were having a barbecue. While I was chatting to a friend it all just became too much and I had a panic attack. I want to come home, I can't do this, I'm lonely. All of those things spew from my mouth mid sobs. Of course I don't want to come home, and I know that I can do this, but I won't deny that I'm not lonely. The thought of having no-one to talk to, no-one to snap pictures with, and no-one to laugh at is taking it's toll on me at the moment, and I'm struggling. I know that once I'm travelling (at the moment I'm house sitting) I'll meet people to travel, chat, laugh, and eat with, but that's months away. When I'm feeling lonely it kinda makes me want to do nothing, and that's what I was planning on doing yesterday.
After a chat with a friend - who is awesome because they're always the first to read my blog, watch my vlog and call, no matter the time difference, when I need someone to talk to - who assured me that it was normal to feel like this, that it was okay to get upset by it, and that I would be okay, I pepped up and decided to head down to Hudson to jostle for a spot to watch the fireworks from.
I had a great night. The fireworks were insane - I'd even go as far as to say they were the best fireworks that I've ever seen - and the atmosphere was insane. People were oh-ing and ah-ing, whoop-ing and cheering, and it was contagious. I found myself cheering along with the crowd, oh-ing and ah-ing, and clapping when the fireworks finished.